On the third day on the Mekong Delta, we had planned to go back to Saigon but our host invited us to meet his family to have breakfast.

A 5 minute walk down a dirt track brought us to his family home which was quite large with lots of land and free roaming chickens and full of his extended family (probably about 30 people in various groups cooking, playing cards, cleaning and eating).

Sat at the table of 8 people eating an enormous buffet style meal, we were two of three English speakers (the third being our host). Immediately, we get sucked into a drinking game where you roll a dice and the nth person round the table drinks… RICE WINE (which is a cloudy spirit about as strong as vodka but easier to drink- especially after your 5^th or 6^th shot).

The food was incredible (hot pot, curry, cat fish, noodles & rice) and the ladies kept forcing us to eat (which was a blessing considering the quantity of alcohol we consumed). The ladies also got a little handsy and vocal with Ian, the only phrase being “Oh My God!!!!”. At this point, we realised we wouldn’t be going to Saigon today, so asked to stay one more night.

The group reduced to 5 (our host had abandoned us with his non-English speaking family and gone to the nearest town, Vinh Long), so the odds were not in our favour with the dice drinking game- 3 litres of Rice Wine later and Hau announced that we were going for a swim in the Mekong!!

We were a little apprehensive since the Mekong is a murky, working river but booze is quite affective at quelling apprehension. I had no swimmers so Hau gave me some of hers which was matching top and trousers with a hoody, topped off with a Non La (conical hat) just to make sure I don’t tan…

They had a small leaky longtail boat which we all hauled into the river, jumped into and motored (completely blotto) half a mile up stream.

The Uncle of the family brought two large bowls with us and began shellfish fishing. It was strangely satisfying, plunging your hands into the unknown mud below and coming up with muscles, snails and welks. Hau and Mong’s kids came along, having a whale of a time, completely oblivious to their mothers’ Ian molesting activities- it was hilarious!

20 mins later we all got back in to the boat (some easier than others, I looked like a beached whale and Ian took two attempts). I wish I was sober because it would have been hilarious to watch.

Upstream a little more and we started to collect Water Hyacinth (which goes into the hot pot and is deliscious). We hadn’t had a drink in about half an hour, so Hau cracked open the Rice Wine…

Back at their house, another meal has been prepared and we sat down for lunch and more Rice Wine. Another half litre later, Ian begins to chat about the chickens to the Uncle (through much gesticulating, pointing and slow loud speaking). Before we know it, they’ve set a time in the evening to catch and kill a chicken.

6pm- chicken killing time! It’s dark at this point and the chickens are all settling down in the trees. Armed with torches, the elderly uncle climbs the tree, creeps up on the sleeping chicken and grabs it. The sound of a squaking chicken flapping around for its life rang though the night.

Like a well-oiled machine, the family jumped straight into action. Quickly and efficiently, he brings the chicken down, slits its throat, bleeds it then pours boiling water over the dead body (which twitches and kicks quite violently). He passed it to his daughter-in-law who plucked and gutted it.

We gathered round a table and began drinking more Rice Wine. Our host’s English speaking friend, Yao was with us at this point so we were able to have interesting discussions about communism, China and the Vietnam war. We thought the chicken was for the family to eat the following day and were honoured when his daughter-in-law brought out a cooked chicken to the table.

Yao wasn’t drinking and had to be up early, so we said our goodbyes and went back to our hostel and passed out.