Of all the places I’ve been to in China so far, Shanghai is the city I could see myself living in. It’s like a less busy Hong Kong- cosmopolitan, fun, great night life and good public transport. We didn’t see as many cultural sites but explored the city and had time to unwind.

Day 18.5

Bar crawl and beatings

First thing we did on arrival at the hostel was get ready for our bar crawl (with an independent company). The first place had an open bar for the first hour which was lethal but set us up nicely for the evening.

I had the worst experience I’ve ever had at a club so far:

Two people (not on the Dragon Tour) were accused of stealing drink and were kicked out of the club. I was with the guide at the time so went with him when he tried to smooth things over. Once he realised it was a lost cause, he told me to go back in whilst he sends them home.

The second I turned to walk in the club, two bouncers advanced on me and the one behind grabbed me by the hair, bent me over double and drove me out my my head about 100 yards out of the club. I was flailing around and he proceeded to PUNCH ME IN THE FACE (not enough to bruise me but enough to split my lip).

The guide obviously tried to help but two other bouncers restrained him by grabbing him BY THE SKIN AT THE BACK OF HIS NECK, so he couldn’t move and was agony. Obviously, we didn’t report this to the police as, being a communist county (and just being China) they wouldn’t give two shits.

We can only assume the Bouncers thought I’d also been thrown out and took completely unnecessary action to stop me going in.

Day 19

Less dramatic: China’s Venice & Kareoke

The next morning, we caught an hour long public bus (whilst painfully hungover and a little traumatised) to Zhujiajiao which is like an Asian Venice with streams running through this historic town, connected by 36 little bridges.

I was feeling very tender that day and didn’t go on the gondola (or their equivalent) but walked around the quaint shops and cafe’s.

 

There was an overwhelming stink from time-to-time which came from their ‘Smelly Tofu’ and is the last thing I would want to put in my mouth- apparently it tastes how you’d imagine licking a cow would taste…

The Chinese are well known karaoke lovers so we thought we’d give it a go at our local KTV house. It was such a surreal experience, it’s like walking into a space ship- everything is black and covered in lights.

The awkward part is that you rent private rooms just for your group, so a small handful are in the room with two mics. After a few beers, I thought I was Whitney Houston so all’s good.

Day 20

Yu Gardens, Central Perk and the rooftop hot tub bar

Some rich chap (can’t remember his name) decided to build the most decedent gardens for himself in central Shanghai in the Ming dynasty. To get to the Yu Gardens, we walked through a traditional part of Shanghai which is how you’d imagine China looked back in the Ming dynasty.

The garden was landscaped beautifully with patios, stages, fake boats, stages and carp ponds. It was beautiful- like a small enchanted village within Shanghai. It wasn’t very busy when we went- I could have sat there for hours reading a book since it was so tranquil.

After the gardens, we took a stroll through central Shanghai to see the Financial Quarter, the skyline over the river and finished with a cup of coffee at Central Perk!

This was everyone’s highlight of the trip- it has Hugsy the penguin and each cup of coffee had a phrase written on the top in chocolate. It was perfect, even down to the WiFi being ‘ILoveRachel’.

That evening, half the group went back to the hostel and the rest of us went to a rooftop hot tub bar! When we were told “rooftop hot tub bar” we were expecting lots of hot tubs looking over Shanghai. Turns out, we were taken (in our dirty traveller clothes- trainers and harem trousers) to a swanky Hyatt hotel with a Sky bar filled with business men unwinding from their hard day’s work.

There was ONE hot tub in the MIDDLE of the bar… So awkwardly, we got our glass of free wine, stripped down and got in. We soon felt at ease and began to relax and take in the breath-taking view.

Day 21

Communist tour: People’s square and Propaganda Museum

Unlike Beijing, you can’t notice the communist presence quite so much in Shanghai. They still have the typical things though, like the ‘People’s Square’ which overlooks the government…

Perhaps the more interesting part of the day is when we went to the Propaganda Museum. It had tens of preserved original propaganda posters from throughout the Cultural Revolution right through to the start of the Industrial Revolution. Some of my favourites:

 

Scottish Lesson

On the way from Shanghai to Fujian, we had a Doric lesson from our two Scotts (from Aberdeen) and there are some absolutely ridiculous phrases they genuinely use on a daily basis, some of my personal favourites:

Fit like?/ Foos yer doos?               How are you?

Fir ye dee in the day?                     What are you doing today?

Fit a carry on/ yoke:                        What a palava

Fit/ how much were yi for it?      What/how much did that cost you?

Hinging luggit                                     run down (sick)

The Doric Dictionary

Fit :                         Foot, What, Healthy, Sexy, Size

Afa:                        very

Bonnie:                pretty

Quine/ loon:      girl/ boy

Blon/ lad:             girl/boyfiend

Chavin awa:        getting on with it

Let’s make a sentence

Fit an afa bonnie quine

What a very pretty girl

Aye, a ken the Ken that you ken but does the Ken that you ken ken the Ken that a ken?

Yes, I know the Ken that you know but does the Ken that you know know the Ken that I know?